


5 Times things nearly escalated during Jack's visit to Georgia and 1 Time it didn't really count somehow

by MiaSchwarz



Category: Check Please! (Webcomic)
Genre: 5+1 Things, An actuall aligator, Bad Manners, Big Dogs, Giant Spiders, I cant tag please send help, M/M, Medical Conditions, Scares and Jumps, Unwanted attention, communication is important
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-06
Updated: 2018-11-06
Packaged: 2019-08-19 15:43:11
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 9,347
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16537466
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MiaSchwarz/pseuds/MiaSchwarz
Summary: Initially Jack Zimmermann thought, the weather would be his only remarkable challenge while acclimating to Georgia and the extended Bittle-Family. But recent happenings taught him otherwise and it didn't even stop on the way home. An adventure of Jack Zimmermann and his streak of weird fate in 5+1 parts.





	1. Behold the Challenge

**Author's Note:**

> Non-Canon, because Jack has never been to Madison before.  
> I needed to make the plot-twist, it doesn't make sense  
> otherwise, I guess?

Jack Zimmermann arrived one ordinary late evening in Madison, Georgia by plane. He was meant to join his boyfriend's family activities for the holidays for the very first time. As the official boyfriend. For all the extended family to watch at sharply. At least only for those Suzanne Bittle still deemed worthy to be present at her home after her only child told her with tears all the things she already had suspected and prepared for.

So Jack had planned accordingly for the occasion, which at the very first contained to be on alert of the heat. And the humidity. And the sun especially. After a very hard week of work Jack had ventured to pay for first class and therefore exited the plane as fresh and lofty as one could. He was still breathing heavily and sweating profoundly though when the shuttle aborted his group of passengers into the acclimatized malls of the airport. He tried to be brave and not draw a miserable face, he knew this was coming … somehow.

Countless journeys had told him to be prepared for the weather at his next destination. Traveling could be awful and traveling with the wrong clothes was torture. But there was not much to do against the fact that Jack Zimmermann, who really thought fondly of the frozen tundra his beloved boyfriend liked to scoff about, had to admit, that Georgia during the summer was a very warm place.

So the young Canadian tried to stay cool while walking slowly to the gate where Eric should be waiting for him. He only had a small luggage and strolled through a little turkish coffee-shop on his way to get some water for himself and a very sugary iced-tea for Bitty. Although big buildings in the middle of hell on earth being cooled down to make human life even possible had a strange taste to Jack, he almost felt pure dread to leave the airport. But it was no use, so he told himself that countless of people lived in this part of the world and where doing just fine. His boyfriend and his family where the best example and Jack had to smile at that thought.

He eventually came to a stop at one of the many gates where travelers could meet with their drivers or else. Jack knew he was at the right place and on his way there he had mentioned his phone vibrating in his pocket. But both of his hands where full and he was meeting Eric soon enough so he used all his determination to not swelter like a flower once he hit the air outside.

So when he arrived at the right gate, he decided to just stand nearby for a bit and wait for Bitty to find him. Jack had invested in a re-usable, real cup, that was condensating and dripping all over the place. It felt nice though, as felt the playful bump against his side.

Of course he didn't even flinch or waste a drop of the drinks, but he looked around and smiled at the other big smile he was greeted with. He was welcomed by Eric and his beaming face with a short hug, because 'being sticky makes people tend to avoid too much touching, Jack'. But the smiles and the kisses and the constant chattering did things to the big Canadian's heart. He could feel his face starting to hurt, because he was grinning like a fool. It was easy to understand that Jack got a little bit distracted by the cheerful talking and lots of uncovered, sun-kissed skin of his boyfriend so he … kind of forgot about the world for a moment and blindly followed his small man wherever he went.

So the heat outside hit unexpected and hard. From one instance to the next Jack felt like standing in a hot finnish spa. You didn't even have to move, the body started to sweat. But Jack was determined to not let the climate get him down over a nice week with his beloved boyfriend. Nothing could stop him from eating his weight in meat and salad and baked stuff. He was even ready to drink some beer. Maybe even as soon as they arrived at the Bittle house. If he was still alive until then.

He tried to hold his smile and sporty composure and it seemed so easy on Bitty, but for Jack it was hard. Complaining was useless and out of the question. Panting and grunting like his uncles after a short morning-run with him was beyond his dignity for some reason as well. So Jack squared his shoulders, followed the small Southerner and tried to just blend into his new environment.

They had waited what felt like forever and now they would have at least one whole week together with no other obligations than eat, drink and clean up occasionally. This Jack could to, he wanted to. A whole week of cheating with his cute boyfriend and secretly making out and just having fun. Jack wanted that a lot and he swore to himself, some stupid hellish weather conditions where not going to stop him.

As it turned out the weather did exactly that without much time to spare. When Jack and Eric arrived at the truck, the Canadian got his proper greeting by Suzanne Bittle. She had hogged the truck, so they didn't have to walk too far. Jack already felt like he had walked for days. Maybe he could have gotten a hint when the friendly greeting and chattering became a bit blurry and his vision did start to do funny things. But it took the Bittles to gently but forcefully wrangle the big Canadian into the air-conditioned truck before he came down with some serious heatstroke, breaking new records by the way.

Eric fussed around the truck with the luggage while Suzanne all but toddled around Jack. Jack was sitting on the back-seat and the smaller woman was next to him behind the driver's seat. She was drenching a towel from Jacks bag with cold water from one of several bottles of water, that where mindfully stashed in a container, and he sighed when the cool fabric touched his forehead. Eric was running back to the airport to get more water and some Gatorade while Jack was just glad that somebody he trusted took care of him.

„I'm sorry, I … didn't mean …“, he tried to stammer, but Suzanne just hushed him and placed the wet towel over his eyes.

„It's all right, dear. Happens to the best, I tell ya. Just stay nice and still and let Dicky drive us home and y'all be fresh as new when we are home, just you see“, she spoke calm but sure, Jack felt relaxed when she silently held his hand.

It took a while until Eric was back. With a sudden rush of motions and hot air he jumped into the truck, tossed the drinks at his mother's feet, started the engine and began to drive. Jack could feel the movements, but he still felt dizzy. Eric and Suzanne talked silently and when they didn't, Bitty was humming along with some tune in his head. If Jack didn't still feel so queezy he would have demanded to kiss him for his effort to stay as silent as possible.

Maybe Jack was dosing or it was the lull of the rolling vehicle, but when the car came to a stop eventually and Eric announced their arrival, Jack did feel a lot better in fact. But he submitted without a word, when Suzanne ordered him to go straight into the house and have a seat on the couch under the van and not move an inch. He just hoped the next day would be better with some sleep and cuddles and all the hospitality he was promised. So Jack called his defeat to the weather for the time being and shuffled to the also promised fan.


	2. Pets are great, right?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The amazing Moomaw tends to breed  
> Big Danes in white with black spots that  
> look just like cows, because they are the  
> best, but Jack got a bit of spook at first.

The second day of Jack's visit in Georgia started far more smoothly. The guestroom, where he slept alone, of course, was in the basement and pleasantly cool. Jack wasn't crazy enough to even consider running outside, even he had to believe what literally everyone and their mother told him. And beside that, it wasn't the first time the young Canadian had to endure enormous heat, but he just didn't like it and had a hard time adjusting.

But this morning was very okay, Jack had slept well and silently enjoyed his sneaky boyfriend's company some time during the night. They didn't do anything dirty, of course, they just lazed around talking about the next days until Eric finally said good night, gave Jack a small kiss and went back upstairs to his own room.

There had been a thunderstorm around midnight that lasted for quite a while. It was loud and impressing, the wind also made the general climate a bit less aggressive.

Jack decided to start the day, do some cleaning up, getting dressed and move on. Bitty was already bustling around the house, chattering all the time while following Jack everywhere he went. There was a trip planned to Eric's moomaw with just the two men, but the whole house seemed to be excited as well.

After loading the truck with some helpings for the older woman Jack buckled down in the passenger seat and Bitty turned on the very red painted truck. It was nice to move without a time-table and they fooled around without much sense until they suddenly arrived at their destination.

Jack had totally lost his sense of time, just joking and giggling with his boyfriend he hardly mentioned they had done the small journey. He felt fine, warm of course, but his beloved man was in such a good mood and they would finally meet the even more beloved moomaw.

Eric parked the truck under a carport that stood some feet away next to a small but nicely organized solid house with a huge front-yard and an even bigger back-yard. The whole area was covered with tall trees that gave enough shade for a lush green lawn to grow. From the carport lead a small pathway to the porch of the house.

Some boys came running to the truck when Jack and Eric started to get out. They looked suspiciously petite, blonde, were bubbling with laughter and talking all at the same time. Jack had to smile, they where obviously some of Eric's countless cousins visiting their grandmother. They did actually and were also small duplicates of Bitty's southern hospitality. That meant, the older men could just stroll to the building while the boys took care of the stuff in the truck.

Bitty explained to Jack, that the relatives nearby send help to the older woman, but the young Canadian couldn't listen, because he was sure, now he was going to die in Georgia like everybody had joked about. It was not because of the heat or the moisture or death by too much pie. In fact Jack was literally frozen in place, unable to breath, staring at the upcoming doom in-front of him.

His boyfriend seemed unfazed and just talked along when Jack was sure he could feel the ground vibrate in foresight of their soon death. And suddenly Bitty even had the nerve to actually squeal with joy and a smiling face. He totally forgot about his terrified boyfriend and made some small steps forth. Jack gasped, but Bitty just started to coo … at a jumping and barking pack of the biggest dogs Jack had ever seen this close in his life.

Sure, animals and pets were awesome, Jack wasn't a heartless robot. But big dogs that nearly had his own weight running like hellhounds straight at him … If he survived this, Jack was sure Bitty would chirp him and call him a big softy. But how …

„Jack?“, Bitty stood in-front of Jack with big, concerned eyes. He had eventually turned around and mentioned that something was missing. Now he looked at Jack by standing calmly in the middle of some huge beasts that wriggled around him and tried to lick the smaller man's face.

„Are you all right, sweetheart? You are not afraid, or are you?“, Eric asked and batted one very persistent dog away absentmindedly with one hand like some other person would shoo away an insect. Jack wasn't sure what to think.

„What … nonono, of course not, Haha … they seem like they can be dangerous though …“, one of the dogs made a very long neck in an attempt to sniff at Jack's hand and he just stared at it, feeling a bit numb and a lot stupid. If Eric was okay with these beasts, he should so as well, right? Jack swallowed a big lump down his throat and hoped, every witness around was as oblivious for his internal freakout like his boyfriend currently. Although you could never know with the small Southerner, he was far more observant than his bubbly appearance should call for.

„What? These babies? They are adorable, Jack! Just too sweet! And oh! There are puppies even, just a couple of weeks old! Come on!“, Eric grabbed the older man's hand and pulled him up the porch and into the house. It helped, because Jack still had no idea what to do or think. Being ripped out of the situation felt like a solid relief.

Jack could still feel his heart beating to his throat, but the fact that the older dogs where not allowed in the house except for the mother so they wouldn't crush the small pups, was a relief. It still didn't help much, that his small boyfriend talked about the enormous monsters like they were ittybittytiny pooches. At least some few weeks old puppies couldn't actually kill him, Jack thought.

The famous moomaw was still to be found, but Jack was also a bit out of breath when he finally stood in the foreign's home entrance. Bitty was holding his hand and called into the building for somebody. The following stampede of countless legs and wild yapping made Jack weary again. So when six-medium sized white and black spotted dogs came galloping down the stairs with their huge mother in tow, Jack prepared himself to finally faint.

His lovely boyfriend was no help at all then, as he seemed to not mention the older man's distress and pulled him down to the ground instead. Jack's last current thought was that he was going to marry a lunatic initially and imagined how his parents would react to the news of how their son found his early death.

Every other thought rushed out the window together with any hint of anxiety when Jack was covered with fur, wet tongues, bad doggy breath and more love and affection the poor Canadian was able to handle on a normal day.

When the famous moomaw eventually joined the struggle in her basement, Jack felt his rib cage starting to hurt and his face as well. He didn't even mention the older woman's presence, but he might be forgiven with all the laughter and wriggling and limbs everywhere.

„Well, this looks like fun, I can tell ya“, the elderly lady exclaimed and watched the mess unfolding on the ground.

Eric was quick to get back on his feet for a proper greeting, but Jack was still lying flat on his back, laughing lightly while a big, furry blur of white and black tumbled all over him, licking every uncovered space of skin and hitting tails wagging of pure joy everywhere.

It took a stern command from moomaw and the pack started to get off the wheezing Canadian slowly and reluctantly. It took a moment for Jack to regain some of is composure and a helping hand from Eric to get him on his feet as well.

„Why, aren't you a cure for sore eyes?“, moomaw cooed and opened her arms for a hug, which Jack gladly accepted.

„I see, son, you like my silly lil' cows? Aren't they just precious?“, she said with a very fond look at the big creatures that were currently sitting quite mannered around her feet, panting with long tongues hanging out their mouths while looking all but ready for another round of roughing. Jack mentioned, that he wouldn't mind.

„Yes mam, they are … quite something“, Jack had to admit and he couldn't stop the yelp of surprise and amusement, when another wet tongue sneakily slobbered over his hand.


	3. Cheesy or Salty or both?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A nice regular 4th of July barbecue turns  
> awkward and makes Jack to flee the scene  
> in sake for his sanity.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fair warning for explizit language and in  
> that context „attempt of verbally sexual  
> harrasement“. Though I tried for death of  
> embarrassement instead of mortification.  
> But be warned in case you have issues  
> with strong language and bad puns, please.

The third day of Jack's visit in Georgia started as pleasant as the second one. With one exception, because it was the fourth of July, the Bittle parents were busy since dawn. So Jack and Eric had some leisurely nice and lazy morning sex and left the house for the festivities in the best mood.

As expected, a countless herd of friends and family gathered for the picnic, all bringing great amounts of food, children and happy spirits. Everybody in and around the Bittle's home seemed to be busy with preparing and arranging food and drinks, tending to the smaller or the older folks and much more.

Jack was never short of beer or Iced Tea or food, wandering around the property, talking with this uncle, carrying a tired toddler to the house for a nap, waving at Bitty now and then and just doing nothing serious. Just eating, drinking and talking if asked. Whenever the young Canadian tried to do much more than hauling the occasional small kid to the designated snoozle-room, some relative would literally stop him instantly and send him away to just sit down.

So Jack was happily spending hours just doing things during a family picnic. It was nice that nobody cared overly much about the famous Hockey-Star except some lonely questions at first. Most of the extended family was into some kind of sport or education with even some semi-professional athletes around. So Jack didn't stand out like a thore thump, except for his height, the pale skin, the dark hair and his general Canadian-nes. That in fact was something that made the young man very interesting, especially for the children.

Great body height wasn't running the family, Jack had to mention, and there were definitely more little boys than little girls bustling around the yard. So Jack found several big brown eyes fixed on him whenever the kids discovered, that some new, big uncle with a weird accent was present.

They watched him in awe and demanded him to say several words only to giggle with red faces. Soon one of the adults would usher them away from Jack with an excuse, but Jack really didn't mind. In fact, it made him feel like kind of a big, strong brother when he wandered around the place and found a boy cranky with exhaustion or already half asleep lying curled up in a ball on the ground with a thump in his mouth. And he also had nothing better to do, so he silently watched out for a sleepy child or a small, sour scowl of exhaustion. They readily accepted to be pulled into his arms and nestled sleepily into the crook of his neck.

Jack was nearly bursting with pride and other strong feelings every time he carried a small kid down for a snooze and met his boyfriend on the way. Bitty was smiling with literal hearts in his eyes and Jack felt like he was doing everything important very well and was in the right place. If he ever wanted children of his own, Jack wasn't so sure. But it felt nice to take care of the smallest ones, even if it was just by making sure about their naps. Naps where important anyway.

Eventually every toddler seemed to be out like a light and every adult seemed to be well fed, so during the early afternoon everything started to slow down a bit. Most of the women puttered around the leftovers and cleaned up a bit, ordering the older cousins and especially Bitty around for the more harder tasks. Coach Bittle was still standing at the grill, but only to prepare the last bits af meat and burgers so they would be ready for the rest of the day. Those who didn't have something to do just lounged in the heat. The older cousins of Bitty where gathering under a nearby tree with a small speaker and a case of beer. Most of the older men tended to several conversations or stayed nearby coach Bittle, talking about everything and nothing.

Jack was finally ordered out of the kitchen or doing anything than sitting and breathing at all. So he decided not to bother anymore and instead gorge himself in the rare occasion, that he could afford a small hangover the next day, not that he was drinking like an idiot, but the rare freedom made the whole 'not doing anything' even more better.

But his polite strike forced him to at least ask the busy women if everything was all right. He got a lovely hug and a small peg from his boyfriend and a chorus of fond aws in return. But as it was mentioned, he was soon dismissed profoundly to at least try to relax and enjoy himself, bless his heart.

That moment found Jack in the shade of old trees on a wooden chair, very well fed and with a cold beer. There where several spaces around the backyard to sit or even lie down. During the ongoing day and in prospect of several hours to kill, some small groups had found themselves here and there.

So far the whole extended family and friends of the Bittle's had been very nice, friendly and polite to the foreign guest. Jack didn't have any doubt when his boyfriend assured him about that. But he couldn't shake the impression, that mama Bittle had used the moment when her only son told her he was gay, to resolutely get rid of several people out of obvious reasons. Sure, there had been lots of tears and confused feelings. But especially Suzanne had taken the situation in strike as if she was just waiting for this moment to happen so she could finally do things that had to be done for a long time.

Jack sighed, closed his eyes and his thoughts drifted here and there. It was actually pretty comfy despite the sweltering heat. Even until somebody seemingly decided to join him, it was hard to ignore the other appearing, although Jack really tried. But apparently 'Auntie Trudy' had deemed the time and general circumstances to be 'just perfect to pay some sweet company to their handsome canadian stranger'. Jack crinched internally, he had a hard time to believe just the very exact words he had witnessed.

And now Aunt Getrude was at his very side with all the dramatics and loud exclamations that didn't leave anything subtle to be unsaid. Trudy had just spotted The Boyfriend (she had not so silently named him so long ago, nobody found it even remotely funny in the first place and even though Jack had been lying on the chair for quite some time), so she announced her plans to the general people around her, took a healthy sip of heir spiced drink and floundered along in the younger man's direction. Absurdly and sadly enough everything in that scenario wasn't meant well for Trudy's plans, neither the heat, her flowery dress without proper bra-cups, her new shoes, her general lack of body-control or the alcohol. It ended in Trudy stumbling somehow over her useless shoes, sloshing the drink around, laughing about herself and hollering together with the others to finally remember her initial quest. But not before returning back to the bar and leave her shoes there first, because 'god-fucking-damid-who-needs-proper-clothes-anyway?' and eventually wobbled back to Jack with all the cheesy bravour, an unmarried, middle-aged-woman with low standards, weird imagination and questionable habits could muscle, but held up by a family like the Bittles, that tried to care and love and help, especially the innocent and maybe not so smart creatures of god.

Eventually Auntie Trudy had accomplished her adventure and finally Jack's polite manners forced him to open his eyes and screw a smile in the general direction of the new intruder. The shades Bitty had forced him to wear made at least everything less bright and offensive. Just as Jack was practically forced to imagine behind closed eyes, Auntie Trudy had plastered herself with all her generous and flourish appearance right next to him on the wooden chair. Even though there stood plenty of other chairs nearby, or most likely maybe because of that. Jack sighed, but the unrelated aunt wasted no time. It was no use to argue against the unnecessary close body-contact, or to turn away appalled by the strong odor of alcoholic breath.

Jack had been warned about this 'Auntie', although to say it like that might hurt his mother in law's feelings. Eric had told him beforehand of all the friends and relatives, that would attend the barbecue, because Jack likes to know what and whom to expect and Bitty likes to talk about his family-friends. It was a win-win-situation, like Lardo would oh-so-tactfully point out, because Jack got his anxious butt patted down and wasn't allowed to say that Bitty loved to gossip. So the natural course of Bitty not-gossipping came to a certain 'Auntie Trudy', a woman Eric could only name by Gertrude Something at most, but that wasn't important. For some reason, this special aunt was somehow in very close conditions with Susan, in some kind of elderly-sister-way. They had known each other since forever and since then, Susan took it as her duty to look out for Gertude and make sure, she didn't get in trouble. Because silently, Bitty couldn't stand Aunt Getrude, since she tended to hang out with the wrong people, screwed up every chance at education and earning money and only managed to live at a small supported apartment because his mother looked after her and made sure, she actually stayed clean and proper fed. And she also could drink like a horse, but couldn't handle her liquor and behaved like the desperate wannabe housewife failing to understand her useless attempts.

But even Bitty agreed, that Gertrude was no more than a weird aunt that meant no harm to anybody. She was always helpful, friendly and took advice as best as she could, to live a proper daily life. Everyone except Bitty even seemed to like her, because she was good company and astonishingly handy under instruction. She was just one of gods creatures, that failed in some parts of their souls and needed someone, who would look out for them in their best interest and protect them. At least that was, what Eric cited his mother for and Jack thought, maybe that was the best to handle an undiagnosed, addicted linesman or -woman, who had to suffer without proper treatment and the consequences in favor of a loving and understanding environment. It didn't help much though when he was finally confronted with all of Auntie Trudy's unwanted attention. And it also wouldn't help to whine, because in the end he was an adult and had to fight his own battles eventually somehow. Even if they were salty and smelling unpleasantly. And finally Bitty had told him, Auntie Trudy was okay where it counted and also had a sensible side. Jack definitely wasn't going to be that guy, who made the official lost-but-loved-cause look stupid in front of her loved ones. He had every good intention, even if he just wanted to speed of and hide in a tree or something.

Auntie Trudy was slightly panting and huffing, but she wasted no time to follow her not so secret plot. She fanned some air into her face with one hand and a dramatic sigh, eyeing Jack obviously. Despite him being appropriately clothed, he suddenly felt way too naked, with all his shirt and his shorts and his pants on. He looked down at his uncovered legs, trying to study the countless tiny scars and fidgeted nervously in his chair. The older woman seemed to have a bright clue, Jack was not prepared.

„Ooooooh, I see! Don't you hate pants, too?“, she asked with way to much enthusiasm about her pick-up-line. Jack drew his head to her, but his face was totally blank. Was this even real? Am I really supposed to answer? Is this a joke? Do I have to laugh? So many questions and in the end, Jack could just stare at the older woman. Aunt Gertrude suddenly burst out in roaring laughter, Jack flinched and trained his eyes on his feet, they were still white and weird as ever. Somehow Trudy took his efforts to stay out of this mess as some kind of shyness or whatever, because Jack had no idea what sparked her next punch-line.

„Ooooooh yeah, you got me there, I mean, damn, if being handsome was a crime, you'd be guilty as charged, mister!“, she cooed and after a moment of forced silence burst out in loud laughter again, howling with joy. Jack began to sweat, like seriously sweat, if that was even possible in rural Georgia around this time of the year. He brainstormed all the lessons about coping-mechanism and stress he could remember and they battled against his stern will to be a perfectly polite guest with perfectly adequate manners and without even the hint of shyness and awkward that tend to be interpreted as stand-offishness and arrogance. But it all came just down to: GET UP! RUN AWAY! YOU CAN'T WIN THIS! Jack felt his muscles tense up and sure as anything his face burnt with embarrassment. But Auntie Trudy wasn't done with him and his stupid politeness. She started to fan her face again, this time with both hands.

„Ooooooh geeez“, she huffed and rolled her eyes at Jack, 'Oooooooh, geeez' he heard himself think.

„I don't know what's gotten into me lately … But I do wish it was you …“, she actually winked at Jack, who was back to staring blankly at the older woman. He still had a hard time to believe what was happening, but finding a way out of some misery was to accept the circumstances and try for solutions. But seriously, was this even allowed in this state? This was offensive and he was sure, his mother would have gone nuts if some random dude tried to pick her up like that. Besides, the extended Oh's, the flabby fanning and especially the alcohol fueled slurring was grating dangerously on his nerves. But Auntie Trudy was unfazed, in fact, she just seemed to get into things.

„I mean, oh, do you work for Ceasar's?“, she looked at Jack with big, glassy eyes, but before Jack could ponder about the seriousness of this new abomination, Trudy delivered the final pun, that made the young Canadian flip off all his manners and just stand up to walk away briskly to find his nice and pleasant boyfriend for some serious whining.

„Because, ya surely have me hot'n ready“, screw his dad and all stereotypes on Canadian gentlemen and their stupid insistence on appropriate manners!


	4. Questionable Decisions and Important Things

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I am not sure if this is a proper reaction  
> to getting the shit scared out of you (again),  
> but I hope, this even makes sense? Is this  
> my only problem with this fiction? Most likely not ...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Didn't Bitty get the first message?  
> Is Jack bad at stating his feelings?  
> Can this even be called a story?  
> You decide!

As the two days before, Jack woke up the third morning in Georgia and he felt okay. The heat had gotten more fierce, but he silently thanked the universe that the Bittle's had decided to build their guestroom in the basement instead of Eric's old room. He felt no hangover but hunger and soon joined the Bittle's for breakfast.

Jack and Eric had a full day to do whatever they wanted and when the young Canadian entered the kitchen, he found his boyfriend and his father already discussing the details of what to do the whole day. They both looked excited and the older man even seemed to be disappointed that he couldn't join the journey.

„It's a shame, I tell y'all, but we promised to visit your father's parents, they are a bit over the weather, Dicky“, Suzanne explained and Jack thought he was at least partially into the plan. As it turned out he was not.

When Jack was seated in the truck armed with his camera as per request of Eric, he was still non the wiser. All he got as information was that there would be many reasons to make pictures. So they drove for a bit more than half an hour until Eric announced their final destination.

As it turned out, one of Eric's uncles, that wasn't present for the holiday, was living nearby and had a … very interesting property. Jack wasn't sure what to think when Eric pulled out two pair of leathered boots and they started to enter the yard. But he was in good spirits, after all and especially the episode with moomaws hellhounds, what could possibly happen that hasn't happened till now.

…

„Are you taking pictures, hun?“, Bitty asked without looking away from what he was doing and Jack was at a total loss.

Pictures? How? What? His mind was whirring in all directions, every muscle in his body was stiff, he couldn't take his eyes off the sight in front of him. He couldn't even understand it. He just stared.

Eventually the alligator slowly opened his mouth and made a deep, feral growl that made Jack's skin prickle with attention and fear. The beast leapt forward with one leg, pitching his growl like a demand and Bitty threw a piece of chicken into its open mouth. With a sharp thump it closed its jaws and chewed on the small piece of meat while emitting an angry sound. Bitty smiled like he won a prize or something and laughed at the monster with visible joy. Jack was ready to just pee his pants by choice because even if it wouldn't help he really felt like it.

The huge animal was soon done with the snack and started to growl more fiercefull and instantly opened his mouth demanding more. It started to crawl forward and Eric took a step backwards in reaction. It was a big step and as soon as his foot touched the muddy ground Eric lost his balance and struggled for control. The ground had given up under the weight and soon the young man's leg was stuck in it almost to the knee. Eric fell to the side and tried to get up again while the alligator crawled forward slowly.

Afterwards Jack would blame himself and apologize to his boyfriends over and over again for just not doing anything. But when Eric fell to the ground Jack could swear his heart just stopped beating. He couldn't breathe or even say anything, he was frozen useless in shock, clutching his camera with shaking hands.

The beast approached with more speed when Eric was finally able to get back on his feet. He looked around to acknowledge the situation and took two steps back when he noticed the giant animal so nearby. Jack couldn't understand what the smaller man was saying to the beast, but he seemed to aim for some soothing words while stuffing its throat with the remaining chicken. When the alligator was distracted with eating, Eric went over to Jack with big, fast steps.

„Phew, that was an adventure! Let's leave the big boy, shall we?“, Jack couldn't believe how calm and composed his boyfriend sounded, because he surely wasn't feeling nearly that relaxed at all. In fact he felt like some oxygen and a heart-rate-monitor was needed. That was when Eric finally mentioned his partners distress.

„Oh … my god … Jack? Can you talk to me, please?“, the sudden change from sunny and happy to frowning concern woke the other man up out of his stupor.

„Bitty. Bits. I … Don't do that again! EVER!“, he shouted, turned on his heels and stomped off for the thirty minutes it took to reach the truck.

He was furious about his incredible boyfriend and maybe the last few days were catching up to him and yes, maybe he was a big softy, but … he was fuming and power-walking with his boyfriend silently walking next to him, always a step behind.

They finally arrived at the truck, Jack climbed into the passenger seat and placed the camera between his legs. Eric entered the drivers seat silently, hardly looking at Jack. The older man covered his face with both hands and sighed deeply.

„I'm not mad at you, Bits“, he mumbled through his palms.

„You have all the right to be mad, Jack, and I'm really sorry“, he got with a small voice in response. Jack let his hands fall in his lab and sighed again with closed eyes.

„It's … not your fault … the last days … and … Bits! That was just … stupid and dangerous. Please don't … That was not just a big ol' puppy, but a FREAKING ALLIGATOR … don't do that again, please“, Jack nearly whispered and felt tears start to sting in his tightly closed eyes. Then he felt a strong, warm hand on one of his.

„No, Jack, this is totally my fault. I thought, it would be a nice surprise, a bit action and fun. But you are totally right, it was stupid and dangerous. I am very sorry I made you feel terrible, that was … I don't know what I was thinking jumping on you and all, especially after you asked me not to. We used to do this all the time as kids … And how I thought it would be fun for you … I understand if you are mad, it was beyond stupid the more I think about it … I didn't think … I'm so sorry“, Jack pulled Bitty's hand to his face and kissed his knuckles so the smaller man stopped rambling.

„I trust you and I believe you that you wouldn't freak me out on purpose. But … crisse this is difficult, I can really live without this kind of adventure, Bits. I'm sorry“, he kissed Eric's hand again.

„Don't YOU start apologizing now, mister“, he huffed. „It takes another kind of heroes to face this mess I made you take! So … let's just … go home and stay safe?“, Bitty offered carefully with a small voice.

„Okay“, Jack exhaled deeply.

„Let's just … agree on more information and less … adventure in the future?“, the older man offered and hoped that his voice didn't sound too angry anymore.

„Okay, that's a task!“, Bitty already seemed far more relaxed and like his usual self.

„And please, tell me when you feel antsy BEFORE you get a panic-attack … please?“, Jack couldn't even try to not love his ever caring boyfriend anymore. Even if he sometimes surprised him and eventually gave him a real spook. He could handle the occasional outburst and surprise, because the progress they made as a team, a real couple even, was more Jack could understand at some times. So he just nodded lightly and smiled like the fool he was.

„Righto“, Eric exclaimed.

„Let's get this thing home and … make sure to just do nice and boring things, eh?“, Jack chuckled at the weak chirp.

„So, no pies today?“, he was so proud of the deadpan tone he delivered and snickered when the small Southerner huffed at him.

„Hardy-Har, mister! Let's see if I ask my mama to prepare the famous Bittle-Chili Con Carne for you to make it up, you see!“, he tried to threaten and swatted with one hand aimlessly at his silly boyfriend.

Jack just batted back playfully and chuckled to finally catch the flailing hand with his own. He felt much calmer and if the silent humming of Bitty was anything to go by, everything was all but back to normal. Jack always was a bit touchy if somebody called him boring, even if it was good mannered. But a nice and boring Chili with some safe cuddling and a good night of sleep sounded like the best plan for days in Jack's mind.


	5. Suffering and bad attempts at Humor

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There ist nothing wrong with a good and hearty homemade  
> meal and Jack can more than enjoy great food. Or so he thought.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is just silly and funny ... Or stupid and  
> weird, if you say so. Mentions of medical  
> problems and somehow graphic descriptions.  
> No gore though, but lost of dork, so enjoy!

It could have been any uneventful day somewhere in the rural depths of central Georgia, but Jack was sure, this time, he wasn't leaving this country alive.

As promised, a perfect meal of freshly made Chili Con Carne was all but ready when Jack and Eric arrived at the Bittle's house later the evening. And despite Jack's chirping, the dessert was indeed nothing else but tasty pie. Eric and his mother talked about the fresh ingredients that were used for the meal, mentioning with a bit of pride, that they where all made by various family members. The Cilis were a special gift by the older Bittle's parents, who had grown them for decades.

Jack wasn't adverse to spicy food, quite the opposite. The Chilli tasted rich and strong with just the right amount of powerful spice. The potatoes were served as a substitute for rice, but the young athlete was used to endless amounts of rice because of his special diet so he fell in love with the small, softly cooked potatoes instead. He also didn't mind the whole dairy milk to soothe his taste buds during the meal and enjoyed the pie, that was made of fresh plums and apples. The sour sweetness of the pie was an interesting contrast to the spicy main dish, but the whipped cream made it a whole experience. Jack just couldn't change it, if it wasn't for his nutritionist and athletic body-building, he would blow up like an unsupervised yeat dough literally overnight.

But the young Canadian was sure, he definitely preferred to die of high cholesterol and body fat than like … this.

By this Jack would later refer to as his last day in Georgia, even if he was sure there would be lots of visits in the future. But on his last day of his first visit in the South, Jack wasn't sure, if he was ever feeling okay again.

This time it wasn't the anxiety or some well-meant surprise that seemed to claim for Jack's health, but … obviously the choice of ingredients from the whole hearted meal he had enjoyed the evening before.

A short visit by the family-doctor in the early morning, because Jack was vomiting and had stomach-cramps like a pregnant woman, confirmed Suzanne Bittle's initial suspects: plum, full diary milk and especially the home-bred Chilli. Everybody felt relieved, because calling the medic had been a good idea to calm general nerves, especially Jack's. He had started to feel sick sometime after midnight and thought, it was just a small episode of a bad belly. He sneaked to the bathroom to just sit it out with the ceramic toilet bowl, but without bothering anybody for nothing serious.

After two hours of rising agony he finally had decided to wake Eric and everything went on in a hurry blur after that. Jack would survive, but at what cost? Who could have thought, that a sudden change of diet to some simple spice and fruit and milk would cause a grown man's system to just literally reboot? Jack surely had no idea until that moment of clarity and groaned in misery at the white tiles of the small bathroom.

He had already talked to his father and his mother because Eric insisted and it really made him feel a bit better. But the cramps and his aching butt didn't seem to agree. Just a few hours, as the friendly elderly doctor had explained, until the meal would be totally aborted, how that even sounded, and Jack would be just fine. Until then, he could only wait and try to stay hydrated.

The young athlete was used to just muscle through bodily discomfort and it helped to know, he wasn't actually dying. He was even grateful for the combined fussing of Suzanne and Eric Bittle during the whole ordeal. But he also sighed in relief for the peace he could have, when his boyfriend announced their visit to the grocery store. They shouted their goodbye's while Jack was dutifully hogging the toilet. He could do this.

What he couldn't do was bearing the arrival of one Eric Richard Bittle Senior. The older man had been nothing but friendly and polite as long as Jack had known him. He was attentive, but not overly oppressive. He talked with the younger man, but didn't seem too keen to bother him further. The two men lived in companionable peace with each other and Jack was more than okay with that.

Another thing Jack didn't know initially about the Bittle's was that Eric's father was not only passionate about football, but also a decent piano-player. Jack was very impressed when he first heard about that. He wasn't too impressed though about the flash of genius the older Bittle would show in fact of the young Canadian's misery.

That was when Suzanne and Eric came back from their shopping. Eric seemed to have heard his father playing in the house, so he was by far the first to enter it laden with groceries. Only to find the older Bittle sitting at the piano, playing a well-known tune and bellowing a song, that was clearly meant to mock the literal shit out of their flue-ridden guest.

„Let it goooo, let it goooo, I can't hold this POOP anymoooore …“

Bitty dropped the groceries dutifully in the kitchen and rushed to the bathroom in search of his boyfriend. He found the other man still sitting on the ceramic wearing nothing but a towel over his lab. He was leaning against the tiled wall next to the toilet with closed eyes. Eric didn't need any light to see that he was rather pale and obviously exhausted. His father was still playing and singing joyfully in the background.

Eric walked slowly across the room and approached the other man silently.

„Jack …?“, he tried carefully and got a very tired look in return, after his boyfriend had managed to open his eyes.

„Bits … why?“, Jack demanded weakly and it took a big chunk off Bitty's heart. Eric Bittle Senior was still singing with all the force of those who made fun of other peoples misery. Suzanne had also joined the new chaos and was scolding her husband fiercefully, it didn't seem to do much though, the playing got even louder, if that was possible. It might have been funny under other circumstances, but Jack just felt so bad and terrible, he let out a sad, long breath of agony. Eric sighed.

And that was it, the final straw to leave, if it wasn't their last day in Georgia anyhow. After Jack felt finally human again, Eric had already packed their luggage and they only had to leave after breakfast without much hurry. Jack felt terrible for being sick, but at least, he finally felt on the same level as the respective Bittle senior. How could he be scared of a man who took strokes like THAT TROLL when another man, a guest, his future son-in-law, was obviously sick? The young Canadian was both impressed and seriously pissed, but he was nothing if not fair and sportsmanlike. So he just apologized profoundly to Suzanne for his ill-being and just nodded with a stony glare, when the older Bittle apologized for his behavior as well. It wasn't to hard to glare for Jack, because the other man was hardly able to not smirk like the smug bastard that he was. But Jack gave him credit and promised himself a bit … less polite attitude in the future and not to hold back on the chirps anymore.

He didn't tell Bitty though, because the young Southerner would never approve of his plan, even if he had given his father a fierce talk after his mother was done for the first round. It soothed the young Canadian's hurt pride a lot, that the older Bittle had to endure the wrath of his wife and son for the whole evening. And he allowed himself some superior smirking at the older man when the others didn't see it and he really enjoyed the annoyed scowl he got in return without fail every time.

Still, the initial problem remained. If he wanted to ever visit Eric's family again, he needed a serious plan to survive for the next time.


	6. This never happened!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jack has to stay alone for a bit,  
> what could possibly go wrong?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Jack and Bitty's dad finally reach the  
> ultimate awkward. Good thing, this  
> journey is almost over for Jack.

After the flu-hiatus, a good nights sleep and a nice breakfast, Jack and Eric were ready to go back north. Apparently their flight was not, because for some reason it was delayed until the later evening. So the Bittle's took this faith in strike and planned a trip to everyone's favorite mall. And Jack took the chance to not go with them. Instead he just decided to make himself a nice pint of his own iced-tea and read on the back-porch in the shadow and just wait for them.

The plan seemed safe and solid to the young Canadian and he even helped himself to one of the very tasty sandwiches Suzanne had left him. So he helped himself to make it a comfortable place and began his lounging. Jack was peacefully chilling and reading, when he decided to make a short braek and tend to his sandwich. He stretched his limbs and gazed around his environment contently. But when he searched for the sandwich he instantly froze in mid-motion.

A really big spider, or maybe it was a huge-ass-fricking-fuck-monster-spider, to cite Shitty in similar occasions. Nevertheless, Jack was disgusted and mesmerized by the giant thing. And he didn't dare to move an inch without intensive thinking or letting the beast out of sight for a second. At some point he stood a good five feet away from the table. Jack bent down a bit to look at it in a mixture of awe and terror. He had to make a photograph of this spider casually hogging his sandwich. But the camera was already packed away for the flight and his smartphone-camera was the worst. He had to make proof though, that he didn't make things up.

He got an idea and almost ran to the kitchen. He would get a glass, a really big one, maybe a small bowl even, and catch the animal and show it to everybody. Hopefully it was still there when he came back and didn't vanish, presumably together with the sandwich. But it was still sitting on the same stop when Jack arrived with the biggest glass he could find. He internally counted to three and jumped at the spider, armed with the glass and his book. Somehow Jack felt a spark of joy of success in his stomach and he watched with a smile, how the angry spider tried to escape from her small prison. It was weird though, feeling the tiny vibrations trough the glass on his fingers where it hit the surface inside with its legs. A shudder of abomination went through his body, it was still repulsive. Better take it inside and place it somewhere safe and stable, Jack thought and went on.

Wandering through the house it wasn't easy to find a good spot, where the glass would stay visible and solid. And it was so bright and sunny everywhere, Jack feared, the poor creature might get hurt and die of the hothouse climate in its mostly sealed prison. So the kitchen was chosen, as it wasn't on the sunny side of the house during this time of the day. Jack placed everything down carefully and took a good step backwards. There it was, the disgusting but fascinating creature that tried to fight him for his sandwich. He swore he could feel all six eyes glaring at him angrily. Or did spiders actually have eight eyes? Jack wasn't sure and he mentioned, he had no idea about spiders and this one in particular. His interest was sparked, he should use the chance and learn something new. Jack remembered the small, old laptop that was finally the designated family-computer, that was sitting in the living-room for everyone to use. It was slow and not very fancy, but Jack had time to kill and at least he should know, how many legs spiders had, right? He gave the subject in question one last look and strolled along to find the device.

It took more time than expected though, because first Jack couldn't find the device. When he did, it was out of power and the search began anew, this time for the power-cord. But when he found one, it seemed to be broken, so he had to leave the sitting-room to search for another one in Eric's old room. He also had to go twice, because he had left the laptop downstairs and therefore picked a wrong one on his first trip. Eventually Jack could feed the ancient laptop his special cable and go back to the kitchen for his initial plans.

Jack carefully placed the device on the big table and plugged it in. Then he decided to take a fresh drink. When he closed the refrigerator his view fell on the glass next to it. It was still where he left it. The spider was not. Jack nearly dropped the container with juice he was holding and almost toppled over when he crouched down in front of the glass in disbelief and shock. How? How was this possible? Where did it go?

Realization dawned on the young Canadian. However the spider got lost, it must now be somewhere inside the house, most likely the kitchen, hiding somewhere presumably safe to give unsuspecting people the scares. Jack began to panic, what if Suzanne finds the spider? He had to do something, but he couldn't move. Nobody knew yet, he wouldn't have to say anything, if not pressed. Maybe the spider went outside and maybe it wasn't too bad after all, fussing about some random spider … But what if it was still nearby, just waiting to jump at him, or … Something solid and strong touched his shoulder.

Jack cried out in surprise and shock and it was later told, he almost jumped the counter, although the young Canadian would never admit something like that. In instinct he turned himself away from the sudden assault, whirled around himself and took a defensive posture in the opposite direction of the intruder. The person itself reacted just as quickly, retrieving his arm, making a big step backwards and holding up his hands in a proofing manner.

„You ain't gonna do stuff like that in this house, son“, it was the older Bittle, he must have arrived in the meantime and Jack didn't hear him. He sighed in relief and it helped a bit against the embarrassment. Finally both men relaxed, although Jack could still feel his pounding heart in his throat.

„Seriously, I mean, can't leave that critter sitting there on the counter“, the spider, now it came back to Jack. He turned towards the glass that didn't hold the small beast in it anymore.

„Yeah, can't do stuff like that around these parts. Suzy'll burn the place down for sure“, the older Bittle had deposed the spider somehow, Jack didn't want to know to which fate. It wasn't inside, so that was good. He turned back to the older man and just stood there. This was awkward. Finally there were the sounds of Eric and Susanne arriving back home. The older Bittle cleared his throat, gave Jack another strong pat on the shoulder and left the room, likely to help with groceries and stuff.

Jack stayed left in the kitchen, he looked at the empty glass and decided to put it away, least to avoid further questioning. Why would anyone leave it like that in the first place without any purpose? Whatever it was, Jack was looking forward to his nice, uneventful apartment only some hours away north. He stashed away the laptop and its appendage together where they belonged to finally end his adventurous vacation, hopefully very soon.

**Author's Note:**

> I try to improve my engländisch und write fanfiction  
> sometimes. Feel free to help with mistakes and errors!  
> Have a very nice day!


End file.
